

Then, I met someone who wanted to have sex with me and we had a two-month-long affair and it was hot. "We stopped being physically intimate""I lived with my boyfriend, and because he was moving across the country to go to law school and I wasn't going to go with him or do long distance, he thought we should slowly stop being physically intimate with each other. "I didn't know I could talk to my partner""I cheated because I didn't know I could talk to my partner about what else I needed in the relationship-kinkier sex, or more attention, or just more understanding about when I needed more space." -Kim, 35 I would say it was the straw that broke the camel's back, but if I was honest with myself, it was broken long before that." -Mari, 35 When midnight had passed and I didn't receive an email, phone call, or message, I went to a club with some friends, and that's when I went home with a guy. The second time was on my birthday-after five years of being in a 'relationship' with this man, he still couldn't remember the exact day of my birthday. Finally, I cheated on him, not once, but twice, both one night stands. We were drifting apart, but we were both too lazy to break it off. I asked him multiple times what our end game was for the relationship, but he kept saying, 'let's see where this goes.' He even gave me a promise ring-he said it was a promise that one day we would be together. "He couldn't remember my birthday""I was in a long-distance relationship with a man for five years, and I'd only see him twice a year. I didn't feel like myself in it, so I emotionally cheated on my ex with a few other men." -Jasmine, 20 "I didn't feel like myself""I felt like I was stuck in a relationship I didn't want to be in. Eventually, I got tired of bothering and slept with someone else to get my needs met." -Kay, 32

There ended up being a lot of tension, as he expected me to do all the work to make our relationship 'spark' again, and didn't lift a finger, didn't communicate with me, and didn't really react when I did try. "To get my needs met""I felt dissatisfied with the romance/sex in the relationship, even if it was a stable and loving one. Rather than confront the fact that this person and I were emotionally incompatible, I cheated." -Mary, 31 I was young and didn't know how to process the feelings of isolation in my relationship. "We were emotionally incompatible""I felt all men cheated and so I should just strike first. I needed a way to end it by making him end it for me. "I needed a way to end it""I fell out of love and was too scared to tell him and too embarrassed to admit to myself that the relationship was done.
